Rihanna Breaks Her Silence

Since the incident took place we have heard so many opinions on the Rihanna/Chris Brown assault. In regards to the two involved, for the past few months the only side we have heard was Chris Brown's. His constant on-air, teleprompter recited apologies to Rihanna and his fans. His constant rants on You-Tube explaining that he is not a monster. And lets not forget his terrible Larry King interview with his mother and lawyer helping to explain how unlike him this situation is, how great of a kid he is and how much of a second chance he deserves. For months we've heard him not really tell his side of the story but begging for forgiveness from anyone who would listen. Well...on Friday, November 5th it was finally Rihanna's turn to break her silence. And at the end of the interview...I was so glad that she did.

I have to admit that when it happened I did look for reasons as to why she might have been responsible for what went wrong. Maybe she started the argument that resulted in him losing his temper. Maybe she hit him first which did nothing but add fuel to the fire. I like many went by the public image that I knew of Chris Brown. The squeaky, clean R&B teen sensation with a great smile and attitude who wears bow ties for goodness sakes and dances like the new age Michael Jackson. To me and to millions of others he couldn't have done this without being provoked...right? But then the pictures of her bruised face became public and the details of the injuries sustained became known and the realization came that this boy turned into an animal that night. Rihanna herself described Brown as having no soul in his eyes as he beat her, bit her and threatened to kill her.

What baffled us all was that three weeks after this hideous attack, Rihanna went back. Her description of Brown as a youngster who reached superstardom very early (like herself) and with that comes a sense of power and entitlement that even most adults can't handle. For both Rihanna and Brown the word "NO" is probably hardly something they encounter which most likely explains why he snapped and she went back. However, I think her wake up call came when everything seemed to go back to normal for Chris Brown but she could not erase the empty eyes that looked at her while hurting her for what probably seemed like forever at the time. Besides being a public figure, an international superstar whose major fan base are young women who could possibly be trapped in the same situation gave Rihanna a sense of responsibility that finally made her say no more to Brown and let the relationship go forever.

What the interview did do was help to recognize how we as women. even the strongest women, end up allowing men to get away with hurting us. Being on the receiving end of a man's anger especially when it leads to physical violence changes everything. Even if you spent years with that person and loved them more than anything in the world, that one moment changes the way you look at them for that point on. They are not the same because the second they put their hands on you in a hurtful way they crumble a piece of that love and it disappears. I understood Rihanna's embarrassment because to the world around her she is this strong, independent and beautiful woman who can be with anyone. I think it is because of these qualities that she was unable to immediately leave what was a volatile situation for a long time. The belief that she could handle it, the bruises would go away and her strength would carry her through. These are just some of the reasons many women do not leave or end up going back.

In truth, the saying that a man who hits you once will hit you again stands true and for Rihanna was proven as it came to our attention that this was not the first time Brown had put his hands on her in a violent way. But I was so proud of Rihanna for telling her story and giving a better understanding as to why the battered have a tendency to return to the batterer; but also she showed all of her female fans that it takes even more strength to walk away. I do hope that she and Brown seek the help they need to heal from this horrific incident and to move on as both are very young and have a lifetime ahead of them.